Finding Faith in Trees

An essay on finding the right moment, and good help.

Many people trust the sea to hold their grief. As someone who needs support to walk on level ground, never mind sand…I’ve more often sought solace among the trees.

I have come to learn that there are a number of ways to have a tree planted in honour of a loved one. It felt really important to me to be involved. Last month, an opportunity finally came my way to do so.

I’m fortunate to have an annual pass for Trewithen Gardens, which is not too far from my home in Cornwall, UK. When I received my invitation to renew it last year, I was surprised that the owners were also offering the first 20 people a chance to plant a tree.

I tried to place my order but found that the link would not work.

A few weeks later, I met a friend who asked whether I’d attended the tree planting.
I explained the situation, and she reminded me that she works there.

”I’m not promising anything but let me have a word.”

The start of a season of flower shows and other gardening events delayed that conversation for a while. I was surprised to receive a message asking whether I would be free to plant my tree the following week.

After co-ordinating schedules, the day finally arrived. We met the gardener at the café, and he handed me the tree that I would help to plant.

”This is a lime tree. It won’t be a tree on its own, it will be part of a forest.”

I didn’t explain my relationship with Steve at that point, or his commitment to community…but I felt my heart smile at the synchronicity. Steve spent his life trying to build community, having struggled to find it.

I carried the lime tree to the site, and Gary dug the hole. He invited me to hold the tree in place whilst he filled it in.

”That way, if it’s not straight…it’s your fault!”

Watering the tree into the ground was something of a team effort. Gary started the job, but I was the one to finish it.

”Make sure you talk to it. The more you talk to them, the better they grow.”

Having a first conversation with a special tree is hard to do with an audience, so I returned the following week

I’ve written about the mystery flower arranger in Tehidy Woods before.

It’s hard to feel as though you’re grieving with an audience, even though it’s quite likely that everyone else is just going about their business.

There’s a lot of solace in being able to sit by the Trewithen tree and know that I will not be interrupted. When I looked up the symbolism associated with lime trees, I was delighted to find that justice is among the ideals they represent.

Sitting by the tree, the week after it was planted.